I really need to thank my workplace for the incredible experience I have had there. It has revealed to me a side of me I wasn't aware existed - the dark side of my moon.
I feel much fuller and richer for the experience. To be consistently bullied over a long period of time (I may discuss this in a later entry) and to be so absorbed in such a dysfunctional environment, has taken me to a place in me that I didn't know about.
This place inside me has been there all along. My work environment is simply a reflection of aspects of myself thrown back at me to enable me to experience the fullness of myself.
It has made me more aware of myself and the impact that words and actions can and have had on me. I would not have had this awareness and understanding had I not had this experience.
I have spend the last year of my two and a half year employment at this organisation observing myself and others and our interactions. I have gone from being someone who speaks her mind to being someone who seldom says what she really thinks to the people that matter.
Fear and lack of confidence have stopped me in my tracks. I have felt impotent, worthless, invisible, incompetent and without purpose.
More latterly with the return of my sense of self-esteem there is something else that has stopped me also - my raised awareness, my desire to observe with as little interference as possible from my obvious self (the one who would speak out and stand up and be counted).
I am, therefore, very grateful for the experience of working there. I now have a greater awareness, understanding, empathy and compassion than I was ever aware of before. Again these aspects of me were always there. They just needed to be revealed to me in a way that made me appreciate them.
The richness, this experience has added to my life, is far greater than any pay rise could have been.
I am now stepping into the light away from the dark side of my moon with the knowledge that it is still there, still a part of me. It is part of what make me whole.
My appreciation of the light is enormous!
I feel much fuller and richer for the experience. To be consistently bullied over a long period of time (I may discuss this in a later entry) and to be so absorbed in such a dysfunctional environment, has taken me to a place in me that I didn't know about.
This place inside me has been there all along. My work environment is simply a reflection of aspects of myself thrown back at me to enable me to experience the fullness of myself.
It has made me more aware of myself and the impact that words and actions can and have had on me. I would not have had this awareness and understanding had I not had this experience.
I have spend the last year of my two and a half year employment at this organisation observing myself and others and our interactions. I have gone from being someone who speaks her mind to being someone who seldom says what she really thinks to the people that matter.
Fear and lack of confidence have stopped me in my tracks. I have felt impotent, worthless, invisible, incompetent and without purpose.
More latterly with the return of my sense of self-esteem there is something else that has stopped me also - my raised awareness, my desire to observe with as little interference as possible from my obvious self (the one who would speak out and stand up and be counted).
I am, therefore, very grateful for the experience of working there. I now have a greater awareness, understanding, empathy and compassion than I was ever aware of before. Again these aspects of me were always there. They just needed to be revealed to me in a way that made me appreciate them.
The richness, this experience has added to my life, is far greater than any pay rise could have been.
I am now stepping into the light away from the dark side of my moon with the knowledge that it is still there, still a part of me. It is part of what make me whole.
My appreciation of the light is enormous!
Labels: Dark Side of the Moon
posted by Denice Midgley | 1:27 pm
1 Comments:
Denice! Hi, I found your blog by doing a search for my own that I just started. I read some of your posts and would like to comment on how well you write and share!
If you have time maybe you could visit my blog and let me know what you think!
http://mysearchforserenity.blogspot.com/
I love your artwork and feel as if I know you aleady! Hope to hear from you soon, stefanie
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